Meet Matti

Jul 16, 2019
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I finally found my place! Tried the BMX forums, they didn't like my style, and I couldn't justify the co$$$$$$t those bikes demand. Tried the mountain bike forums, it seems that I and my bikes are obsolete, can 26" wheels even roll anymore? Tried Rat Rod Bikes, and happy times, I'm freakin Goldilocks here, just right!

This place has rekindled my love of bikes and fired up creative juices that had congealed due to years of life getting in the way. The artistry and passion on display have blown my head clean off. Seriously, I put my hat on the bloody stump that is my neck now.

But it's more than that, it's your attitude too. No condescension towards noobs, just a good group. I hope you can forgive me until you get used to my humor and learn to ignore me.

That's chapter 1. Chapter 2 will be a brief history of me. Chapter 3 will introduce my fleet. Chapter 4 will be a discussion of time and space and the nature of reality and man's place in it, as it pertains to the most efficient form of transportation ever created... Sailboats!

Just, kidding it's bikes.
 
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I have to say that there are some cool folks on mtbr forum. Particularly the vintage section. I've actually gone super goofy fanboy over the fact that Charlie Kelly is there. His "Blue Collar Classics" thread is what mountain biking NEEDS:
https://forums.mtbr.com/vintage-retro-classic/blue-collar-classics-533958.html

(Moderators, if linking to other forums isn't cool, please edit, or let me know!)
 
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Chapter 2: Really? He's Going Through With This?
Boring stuff: born in the 70s raised in the 80s, sk8board, punk, crappy third hand ten speed, jealousy at friends' cool brand bmxs, 90s grunge, girls, delinquency, what's that, a mountain bike?! Lemme try that Hardrock... right down a flight of stairs (I HATE GRIPSHIFT!!!) and I'm buying it, never leaving my collection. Graphic design diploma, the new millennium, jobs, life, wife (the cutie from the LBS!) kids, motorcycle, forgot about bikes, crash, busted body, rehab, back to bikes, Rat Rod Bikes and that's about it.
 
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Chapter The Thirds: Srsly? He's still going on about himself?
No. Now he's going to introduce you to the fleet!

The Numero Uno:
My baby, the RockRat. The first and last. Been riding this 93 or 94 Hardrock since she was almost new. Will never leave my collection. I might be living in a box in an alleyway, drunk on Lysol, but I'll be the homeless guy with the bitchinest mountain bike around.
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The Deuce, aka Duck Norris. When you pedal Duck Norris, Duck Norris doesn't move forwards, the world moves backwards!! Cooler than it is possible for a bike to be!
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The Wonky Donkey
Found it in the trash. Where it belongs. Parts fall off of other bikes, and here's where they land.
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This is my girl's ride, now a minivan, ready to haul fam. Note the lack of bouncey soft bits. She's ridden this one down a mountain! That's a girl you marry!
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And her cruiser, Schwinn Fairbrooks. It's travelled further than yours has. Trust me. It's been to Hawaii, the American south, and now, the great white North.
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And a future project for Matti, her kid bike. Yes, it's called the Blue Angel. Check the sticker.
 

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Teaser: talking to a guy about a new addition to the fleet! Don't want to jinx the deal, but it's too sweet to pass up. It isn't a rat, won't likely get many mods, but it's one that's been on my list for a while. I missed out a year or two ago, kicking myself ever since, and that one was listed at almost 4x the cost of this one! Fingers crossed!
 

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