Hi all,
I'm learning its a small world when it comes to how many people don't talk to members of their family, and they get along with it just fine. I just thought I'd share my situation with you and would appreciate any type of advice, or would like to hear similar stories from you.
It has been near four months since I've spoken to my parents or brother. I am a mid 20's male that has been living independently since a teenager. I am older than my brother by four years and have always been stamped as the 'loser in the family' for not ever attending college. I am the type of person to stray from the path everyone else takes and create my own. I grew up in a household where my little brother was king of the castle and received anything at his request and could never be held accountable for anything he did wrong. I was always to blame, and left to bare the consequences of his bad actions. He is in his early 20s and of course still lives with my parents; which pay all of his expenses, food and clothe him while he attends college. My father has a severe alcohol problem and his temper can become quite vicious very quickly.
I own my own home that I purchased when I was 20, work a physically demanding job and own an impressive collection of antique cars and antiques that sum a value of over $600,000 on todays market. I mention this because I feel it is with jealous intentions that my brother is the way he is towards me, and perhaps my father is right there with him.
I restore vintage cars as the number one important hobby in my life. While growing up my family always looked at me as a fool to have an interest in anything old, outdated or needing repair. When it caught on that there was money to be made, my father and brother jumped on the wagon and tried engaging in one type of car that I deal with. My brother stole many parts from me without my knowing, even right off of a car that I was currently restoring for use on his car that I had found for him. When confronted on this; it was denied and my father took his side as if I was an enemy.
The response I have been given for the reasoning of the thefts is simply 'well, you weren't using them', or 'your brother needed the parts'. I would have given them most of the parts had they asked me or even acknowledged that it was wrong to just take them from me without telling me. I am the sole owner of the parts and the total value is very minimal, but still priceless when it comes to being hard to find vintage car parts.
I have asked for the parts back to which I never received my request. I have asked for an apology, or the acknowledgement that it was wrong to take my parts without asking me to which I also have never received my request. I am a non confrontational type of person but I told them how I felt and that I was shocked that my own family would do this to me. This started a whirlwind of vicious verbal attacks on my personal being; insults towards my home, my hobbies and my lifestyle of never attending college. It was made clear by my father and brother that I was not of any importance in their life and my sole purpose was only to be used by them. Throughout this charade my poor mother has sided with them out of fear of what may become if she did not.
Realizing that I was unwanted in the family I ceased all contact and refused to answer any phone calls or emails sent by any of the three. I was so stunned, confused, hurt and angry over all of this that I had a minor stroke due to the bursting of an aneurysm in my brain that caused me to be hospitalized for the first time in my life. My girlfriend called my parents to inform them of this; to which they had no reply. While I was in the hospital, and since then I have not heard one word from them; not even to find out if I was alive. It has been two months since the minor stroke.
It has been four months since the last contact with my family. I am angry, upset and hurt; but not so much because of the theft and insults from them - but because I am greatly in emotional pain because they are my family; I am their son and brother. I have been there for them and held my hand out many times. I offered to pay my parents mortgage off completely for them two years ago and was kicked out of the house as they took it to be an insult. I have always offered an ear to listen to my brother's problems, to teach him history about cars, even to locate his cars for him. I have always been the one to take meaningless family artifacts out of the closet and proudly display them. Whenever there is a family problem I would ponder solutions until my brain just couldn't think anymore. It hurt me greatly to have missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and new years with the rest of my family all because it was at their house and I was not invited.
But alas here I am, alienated by them for declaring that I have had enough of the blame and being taken advantage of.
But then again, here I am..wishing I had my family back, wishing they cared enough about me to come visit me when I could have died two months ago.
What would you do if you were in this situation..?
I'm learning its a small world when it comes to how many people don't talk to members of their family, and they get along with it just fine. I just thought I'd share my situation with you and would appreciate any type of advice, or would like to hear similar stories from you.
It has been near four months since I've spoken to my parents or brother. I am a mid 20's male that has been living independently since a teenager. I am older than my brother by four years and have always been stamped as the 'loser in the family' for not ever attending college. I am the type of person to stray from the path everyone else takes and create my own. I grew up in a household where my little brother was king of the castle and received anything at his request and could never be held accountable for anything he did wrong. I was always to blame, and left to bare the consequences of his bad actions. He is in his early 20s and of course still lives with my parents; which pay all of his expenses, food and clothe him while he attends college. My father has a severe alcohol problem and his temper can become quite vicious very quickly.
I own my own home that I purchased when I was 20, work a physically demanding job and own an impressive collection of antique cars and antiques that sum a value of over $600,000 on todays market. I mention this because I feel it is with jealous intentions that my brother is the way he is towards me, and perhaps my father is right there with him.
I restore vintage cars as the number one important hobby in my life. While growing up my family always looked at me as a fool to have an interest in anything old, outdated or needing repair. When it caught on that there was money to be made, my father and brother jumped on the wagon and tried engaging in one type of car that I deal with. My brother stole many parts from me without my knowing, even right off of a car that I was currently restoring for use on his car that I had found for him. When confronted on this; it was denied and my father took his side as if I was an enemy.
The response I have been given for the reasoning of the thefts is simply 'well, you weren't using them', or 'your brother needed the parts'. I would have given them most of the parts had they asked me or even acknowledged that it was wrong to just take them from me without telling me. I am the sole owner of the parts and the total value is very minimal, but still priceless when it comes to being hard to find vintage car parts.
I have asked for the parts back to which I never received my request. I have asked for an apology, or the acknowledgement that it was wrong to take my parts without asking me to which I also have never received my request. I am a non confrontational type of person but I told them how I felt and that I was shocked that my own family would do this to me. This started a whirlwind of vicious verbal attacks on my personal being; insults towards my home, my hobbies and my lifestyle of never attending college. It was made clear by my father and brother that I was not of any importance in their life and my sole purpose was only to be used by them. Throughout this charade my poor mother has sided with them out of fear of what may become if she did not.
Realizing that I was unwanted in the family I ceased all contact and refused to answer any phone calls or emails sent by any of the three. I was so stunned, confused, hurt and angry over all of this that I had a minor stroke due to the bursting of an aneurysm in my brain that caused me to be hospitalized for the first time in my life. My girlfriend called my parents to inform them of this; to which they had no reply. While I was in the hospital, and since then I have not heard one word from them; not even to find out if I was alive. It has been two months since the minor stroke.
It has been four months since the last contact with my family. I am angry, upset and hurt; but not so much because of the theft and insults from them - but because I am greatly in emotional pain because they are my family; I am their son and brother. I have been there for them and held my hand out many times. I offered to pay my parents mortgage off completely for them two years ago and was kicked out of the house as they took it to be an insult. I have always offered an ear to listen to my brother's problems, to teach him history about cars, even to locate his cars for him. I have always been the one to take meaningless family artifacts out of the closet and proudly display them. Whenever there is a family problem I would ponder solutions until my brain just couldn't think anymore. It hurt me greatly to have missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and new years with the rest of my family all because it was at their house and I was not invited.
But alas here I am, alienated by them for declaring that I have had enough of the blame and being taken advantage of.
But then again, here I am..wishing I had my family back, wishing they cared enough about me to come visit me when I could have died two months ago.
What would you do if you were in this situation..?
