Garden Peninsula shakedown cruise

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The middle of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan
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The Garden Peninsula is notorious for its destain of the law, especially the DNR. This is the only place in Michigan where one of my best buddies was shot at when he was a DNR officer. He claims the peninsula is populated by hoodlums and outlaws. They have DNR hate graffiti rattle can signs sprayed on garage doors. They call tourists “terrorists”. On Sunday I started to ride my bike to the end of the peninsula, which terminates at Fairport. The paved Garden Peninsula roads have one foot shoulders with rumble strips and locals who try and see how close they can get to you when passing. It’s 50 miles from home on gravel and pavement before there is a gas station for hydration. Then, 8 more miles to Garden, where COVID put everything but the gas station out of business. No motels. The gas station/market in Garden closes at 4 PM. I got there at 4:01. The three camp grounds were full. I pedaled another 10 miles because there is a restaurant/bar in the middle of somewhere that was supposed to be, or might be open but the water line broke just before I got there so the bathrooms and kitchen were closed. I had three beers and two cokes for dinner. I asked about the hours they were open and they said “when we feel like it”. By then the sun was low so I put my sleeping pad and light blanket down in the bush and crashed, no tent. It was hot all day, mid 80s F so I was too dehydrated to hardly pee. Then it got cold at night, 50s F with heavy dew so I got damp and cold. I put on lots of bugdope, which keeps the bugs from landing but they kamakazied my head until I inhaled them all. We hear coyotes at our house all the time but they are far away. This pack was close and howled and circled all night. They must have wondered who was sleeping in their yard. I got up in the morning and scared a big coyote away, about 30 yards from my hobo pad. By the time I loaded up and took off it was 80 F again. Hydration was the biggest problem. My bike with gear was over 70 pounds but the bike rode like champ. It was a miserable ride almost immediately the whole two days but that was good because that made the whole ride consistent. How far? I don’t know, I ride so slow my gps died, even with an auxiliary battery, at 56 miles. I figure 120. - 130+ total miles there and back over two days. I really don’t know how these long distance bicycle tourists make it up here. There are so many vehicle tourists that there are no camp sites or motel rooms available, very few stores a long distance apart to get nutrition or hydration and crazy traffic. I rode about 1/3 gravel, just to keep safe as there was a constant stream of ridiculous huge cottages that people who have no trucking experience towing on paved narrow shoulder less two lanes. This is when I decided gravel would be safer. The Mackinaw Bridge is five miles long and the line on the bridge to pay the toll to enter the UP has been consistently 2.5 miles long. Expect to wait a half hour. It’s never been like this before. It makes me want to go somewhere else so I can be obnoxious, just to get even. If you come up here you should sleep with the bugs and wildlife on the ground, just to fully appreciate and get a small taste of what our ancestors had to deal with. Come, sleep on the ground, spend all your money fast and leave. For me the ride was a constant painful miserable experience. I kept telling the pain to shut up but it was deaf. That was yesterday, today I feel great. Weird, it’s like I accomplished something and I am on a high from it. I try not to think of the other 5 bicycle tour riders I saw that seemed to be under no strain and we’re going much faster and almost twice as far in a day. If I think of them it diminishes how I feel about my accomplishment. I hope they weren’t as miserable as I was. I can hardly wait to do it again. My wife wants me to take up pole vaulting or rock climbing so I can get it all over with.
 
"
I went down to my beach at noon
I got pushed away there was no room
Their bodies are covering our ocean land
And their babies are (expletive deleted) in our sand
The only place where there aren't too many
Is in our local cemetery
I'll tell you now I'll do what I can
And get em all sent to Iran

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/freeze/ihatetourists.html
The rest of the lyrics are not safe for RRB, but definitely applicable
 
"
I went down to my beach at noon
I got pushed away there was no room
Their bodies are covering our ocean land
And their babies are (expletive deleted) in our sand
The only place where there aren't too many
Is in our local cemetery
I'll tell you now I'll do what I can
And get em all sent to Iran

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/freeze/ihatetourists.html
The rest of the lyrics are not safe for RRB, but definitely applicable
Are you referring to a Canadian black fly ranch?
 
Naw, it's summer. We've moved on to horseflies. This beastie dropped by on the weekend
IMG_20210725_092547955~2.jpg

Gotta be an inch long!
 
Naw, it's summer. We've moved on to horseflies. This beastie dropped by on the weekend
View attachment 166274
Gotta be an inch long!
Those horseflies are also bad here. So are the deer flies. The black flies are down but they are still here even in October. You think they are gone until you are a starter at an event where there there are a few hundred people and when everyone is gone you are left with a bazillion of em.
 
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What an epic ride. The rides you remember the most usually had a high level of misery attached to them. Stay safe on those narrow roads with huge RV's whizzing by. I never guage how fit or unfit I am by how others are doing. Can I do it, did I get it done, am I still smiling. Good luck with future rides and arrive safely.
 
The rides you remember the most usually had a high level of misery attached to them.
Anthony was a true friend and we always had a great time riding together. After this ride, most of those who attended were less than happy and even grumbling about it. After one particularly hard gripe, I looked over at Anthony when he smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. A Prince Among Men

http://www.anthonysloan.com/fruitadeathmarch.html
Rest Easy Anthony
 
I loved the fruitadeathmarch KCI. Great story. I live on a Sacramento River delta island. During a particularly wet winter long about 1986 I heard about a levee that was leaking badly and went to investigate. No cars were allowed on this particular levee but you could walk or ride a bicycle in. I rode a bicycle in. We have Yolo County mud and I didn't know first hand what that meant at the time. As I started down this levee the mud started sticking to the tires then itself and quickly you were walking. Then the mud started sticking to your shoes and fairly quickly your feet were huge mud sledgehammers. They rubbed on the other leg as you tried to walk, they weighed 35 lbs. and soon you couldn't walk either. You then tried to balance as you scooped mud off, first one foot then the other foot to try to walk another 10-20ft. I didn't have a camera so no great photos of another epic mud run. I was covered in mud by the time I got out of this mudhole. Last time I took on Yolo County mud. The levee leak was so bad my wife and I left town with our young kids until the leak emergency subsided. Bad sticky mud is the real deal.
 

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