There are things you can do to improve your chances out there on the roads.
There are groups you can join, and courses you can take, and literature to read that will not only make you a better cyclist, but improve your chances of establishing legal charges against any driver who injures you or causes you to crash.
Many people do not know about the League of American Bicyclists (LAB) and their advocacy and safety programs. They offer entry level safety courses (TS 101- Traffic Skills 101) up through instructor certification. I'm contemplating taking this course very soon, because I often lead rides around our area.
I am in no way saying that you or your friend were at fault in any of the incidents mentioned, but we all can improve our riding skills and knowledge with the help of some of these groups. Other advocacy organizations include bikesbelong.org and believe it or not, your state DOT (Dept of Transportation) which has since 1995 been required to include bicycle and pedestrian planning in everything they do.
Your state should have a Bicycle Transportation Coordinator or some similar title. CT has published bicycle route maps showing not only recommended routes, but NOT recommended roads for bicycle travel- very helpful. Of course there are areas that are unavoidable in any city- for these, you follow the rules of the road and ride the best you can, smoothly, predictably, making yourself visible, and RIDE WITH TRAFFIC. Seems a great many people do not know this- again I am NOT implying that you or your friend were riding illegally, but if there is an incident, knowing the law helps you.
The state of CT has initiated a new law requiring motorists to maintain 3 ft clearance to cyclists- the state's website is here:
http://www.sharetheroadct.org and is a DOT run informational service. About 20 states have adopted similar safety laws to protect cyclists.
However, and this is important, very few bike-car collisions result in criminal charges to the motorist. This is often because the law is vague, or it is not clear who is at fault. Do your best NOT to be the one at fault- ride in the lane, as a vehicle, and be predictable. Frankly, you can't get too mad at a car driver who blows a stoplight if you sometimes do the same thing on your bike. Don't put yourself at risk, follow the rules of the road yourself.
Since I'm the chairman of a fairly new bicycle-advocacy group where I live, I'm involved in cycling safety in many aspects, and we try to both convince our city officials to invest in cycling safety (signs, bike lanes, etc) in town and we try to educate cyclists to keep themselves safe. Sometimes that means choosing another route. Sometimes its as simple as clipping on reflective bands to be visible in evening rides.
Find out who is active in your area and get in touch. My guess is you'll find a group already working on the issues. Your unfortunate experiences will add some fuel to their fire. I've heard such stories many times now, and they deserve to be repeated, so that the rest of us can learn from them.
Best of luck,
--Rob Bareiss
Chairman, Bike New London, Connecticut