Longest craigslist description for a bike... ever?

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Just for the sake of historical documentation:

Looking for a Nice- NEW Bike and THINK you have seen everything available? Have you been to a Bicycle Store Lately? Then, you KNOW how DISMAL the Selection Can, be especially in a Department Store! Yes, they have EVERY type of Bike and Every Brand under the Sun- known to Man, EXCEPT the One YOU WANT and are LOOKING FOR! Yes, they have TONS and TONS of Bikes that you DON'T WANT! Sure, they have ALL kinds of tiny little Bikes, with small, tiny, little frames and lots of Mountain Bikes too! But, rest assured, NONE LIKE THIS! Have you ever heard of "Frankenstein?" Well, meet "Hogenstein!" Let me ask you a question. Are you MORE LIKELY to Ride a Bike that you Hate or a cool Bike that you really, really LIKE? That's what I thought and I agree. This 26 inch Adult, Stretched Out- Micargi Mustang Beach Cruiser-Limo "HOG" not only LOOKS Great, but is COMFORTABLE too! But, don't let its looks fool you, because this Bike is heavy- which is a Sign of QUALITY. I know what you are THINKING! Since, it's heavy then it must be SLOW. WRONG ANSWER my Biker Friend! Because, I have ridden this Bike and KNOW how FAST it is! This BIKE is FAST! WHY? Because, this- "Mustang" is a THREE SPEED and NOT a Single Speed. Another Reason this Type of Bike is so FAST is because of LEVERAGE. SEE how FAR the Seat is from the Pedals? This means, it takes less energy to keep this Bike Rolling and Maintaining its TOP Speed. It also handles better and is easier to steer, because of its "Lower Center of Gravity." The extra weight also helps maintain the Bike's natural "Momentum" once you reach a nice Cruising Speed. The BIG Fat Road Tires that Inflate to 65 LBS also insures easy riding too. This is a "High Performance" Bike and it says so on the Box! I added a Front Handbrake, for extra SAFETY too! I ask you. Would you rather Ride a Bike with a "Cool Factor" of 1 or a Bike with a "Cool Factor" of 10? That's what I thought and I agree! Sure, I could have purchased practically ANY type of Bike on the Planet, but I chose THIS ONE instead of ALL of the others. Boring Bikes just don't cut it with me. And, I think you'll agee, that once, you EXPERIENCE the Difference between what you are used to Riding and this cool Bike, you'll think twice about Riding anything else. If you are currently riding the "Wrong Bike," it can be a real Pain, a Drag and a Chore and lots of WORK to go riding, but NOT anymore, once you own THIS Bike! Isn't it TIME to ENJOY Bike Riding again? Isn't it TIME for the Bike You Ride to MOTIVATE You into Riding it, instead of Riding being such a Chore? Just THINK about how Riding a Bike like THIS will make you "LOOK" and "FEEL." Can you get this-Cool, Look, Feel and Experience Riding ANY other Bike? I THINK NOT! Life's too short to settle for anything less than the best. You may have ALREADY Spent Hundreds or even Thousands of Dollars on the WRONG BIKES that you thought were Fine at the Time. So, WHY make the SAME Mistake AGAIN? Maybe you already have a Bike you Like, but long for a NEW Riding EXPERIENCE but, don't know where to look? Then, this nice Bike might be right for you. You may like this Bike so much, that you'll end up SELLING the other Bike(s) that you have. I know I did! This comfortable Mustang is also great for LONG DISTANCE Cruising or Cross Country Riding too. You can also install other Options like: a Bell and Water Bottle. Sure, I've had MANY Bikes in the Past, but NONE compare to this! This type of Bike is the BEST Kind I've ever had! This Micargi Cruiser is my Favorite style of Bike for MANY reasons: It's Fast: It corners well: It's Comfortable, because of the "Springer Forks" that absorb the shocks and bumps. But, I replaced mine with More Sturdy- Regular, Standard Forks, which is Optional for you. Also, you are NOT "All Hunched Over," like "The Hunch Back of Notre Dame," because the "High Rise" Handlebars take care of that. Just forget that PAIN and say goodbye to all of that Stress and Strain! This "Hogenstein" has FENDERS, so you don't get drenched while Riding in the Rain. The smooth Shimano- "Three Speed Transmission" is a cool feature, especially when faced with climbing up hills. And, when you hit 3rd gear- Look out cause you'll leave the others behind quick! The BIG , COMFORTABLE Seat even has "Springs" to absorb more bumps and you are not as TIRED and Fatigued when Riding this Bike for a Long Time. The Pedals even have Rubber Grips so your Feet don't slip off too easily. This cool Bike is FUN to Ride! Isn't that what Bike Riding should be like? Yes, cool and comfortable is what this Bike is all about! Sure, you could Spend a lot Less, for a different Bike, but you'll GET A LOT LESS BIKE TOO!! You could also SPEND A LOT MORE THAN THIS and STILL GET A LOT LESS BIKE than THIS TOO!! Sometimes "Frugality" can- "COST YOU!" I'm sure we've all said at sometime in our lives- "I should have spent a little bit MORE for Comfort & Quality." Let's face it, with most Bikes, you get a "Stripped Down -Upright Frame" and a Bike that doesn't even, have Fenders for the Rain! So, don't make a mistake and regret buying something else that you'll hate. "Well, I just don't have that kind of money" is just an EXCUSE for buying something else of less value. But, I KNOW "All Hunched Over" will make your NECK & BACK hurt in a hurry! Been there, done that. But, with this Mustang, there is no worry. With HIGH FOOD & GAS PRICES creeping HIGHER and HIGHER, this Micargi Cruiser is a Real Good INVESTMENT. And, a Real BARGAIN considering the GAS you'll SAVE by RIDING THIS BIKE INSTEAD! I'll bet, in NO TIME the GAS SAVINGS ALONE will PAY FOR this Bike AND the accessories you install on it. Maybe you NEED to Lose, some extra weight? Maybe it's Time for that "Spare Tire" around your Belly to go? This cool Bike is great for EXCERCING or just going to the Store, to WORK, Riding on the Beach or on the Lake, Door to Door Deliveries, or visiting friends or neighbors. With great looks, style, practicality and efficiency, you'll be hard pressed to FIND a Better Overall VALUE & Bike for the Money. Once you Ride it and Own it for a while, I THINK you'll AGREE and throw rocks at everything else! I KNOW I do and won't even CONSIDER Riding anything else! You may ask yourself, "How did I ever manage without this Mustang Bike?" I'm NOT just saying these things because I'm trying to sell people this Bike. My testimonial comes straight from the heart. Remember, I OWN THIS BIKE but, it's for Sale at a Bargain Price. So, you THINK you can FIND a Bike like this at your Local Bike Shop or Retail Store? THINK AGAIN my friend! Because, NOBODY has a NEW Bike like this for Sale that I know of around here! So, WHY purchase a Bike BEFORE you try it? This Bike is UNIQUE and very different than ANYTHING you may have ridden. Let's face it- not everyone wants to Ride up and down the sides of Mountains or go Racing and MOST Biking is done on Dry Pavement anyway. So, WHY Not own a Real- comfortable "Road Bike" that can handle some Trails too? This Bike represents QUALITY & VALUE for people that truly appreciate it. Prefer a Bike that was Designed in the U.S.A. and NOT in China? Then, this Bike is for YOU! This cool Bike is only available in Dark Blue, but you can always re-paint it the color of your choice, or take it to a Body Shop. Options? You may customize this Bike to suit YOUR needs. Where else can you FIND a Bike like this in this town? Nowhere, that, I know of, but right here. THIS is the ONLY 3 Speed Model, which I HIGHLY, recommend. I also HIGHLY recommend purchasing a LOCK for this Bike, because when you Ride it, heads will turn and you don't want to give thieves a chance when you park it. So, RIDE this Bike and then make a decision. I'm so confident that once you EXPERIENCE the cool- "Micargi Mustang Feeling," you too, will be a Believer! Serious people only please. Price is FIRM- NO HAGGLING. Please no shipping. Local pickup & cash only please. Contact Johnny B for an Appointment & Directions.
 
If it was intentional to get a laugh then it's pretty funny.

If he was serious then,...I'd hate to be stuck next to him on a long flight. :lol:
 
I thought the Bicycle Heaven guy was annoying with his descriptions in all ,,,,,,,,,commas,,,,,,,,,, AND CAPS, but this dude takes the cake.
 
aceuh said:
Fahrrad said:
Just for FYI, it is 1498 words.

You counted????

I couldn't bring myself to read it ... let alone count all the words!


lol!

Or:
Characters without spaces 6492
Characters with spaces 7989
Paragraphs 1
419 of the letter E and 4 of the letter Q
:shock:
 
Tater said:
aceuh said:
Fahrrad said:
Just for FYI, it is 1498 words.

You counted????

I couldn't bring myself to read it ... let alone count all the words!


lol!

Or:
Characters without spaces 6492
Characters with spaces 7989
Paragraphs 1
419 of the letter E and 4 of the letter Q
:shock:

There you go, work smarter not harder.

MS Word count
 
Fahrrad said:
There you go, work smarter not harder.

MS Word count

I actually swiped a character counting tool off of amstat.org. I don’t think Word will nut out the characters like that. I’m sure we will see that dude's ad on the Best of Craigslist someday.
 

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