Cucumber Krate restore

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This is a rare find... and I mean really really super vintage rare!! really! It is the Schwinn Stingray Cucumber Krate bike. For those ill-informed peasants who don't know, in 1961 Schwinn designed 2 Cucumber Krate bikes in a secret laboratory hidden deep in the North Dakota mountains. These two bikes never made it to the showroom floors because the public was not ready for such awesomeness. They were only concepts developed for deep enemy penetration to extract downed U2 pilots from Soviet Siberian territory. Of course, the best collectors already know this story. What none of you other cotton-headed ninny-mugginses know is the REST of the story...
The Cucumber Krates were made from Adamantium and injected with gamma radiation so the glow could be seen from space. But once their Skynet systems gained consciousness, they grew out of control. It took two years for the government to finally track them down and destroy them.
How do i know all this? For one thing, I'm smarter than all of you combined. For another, I lived in California with a kid who's Dad knew a man who's brother had a cousin who once heard of a soldier who fought in the Great Cucumber battle of January 1965 in Wyoming. And that guy knew where the remains were buried. So, last year I set out on a quest to find the remains, but despite the $78.43 invested, I failed to find a trace. So I met secretly met with Congress behind closed doors and was granted $34,000,000.00 to recover this artifact. I only spent $123.57 at a Best Western in Rapids City SD before I found the prize! (The rest was mysteriously lost).
You may be thinking: "This is totally legit, and CRASH is the smartestest of us all, and the coolest dude ever!" and you'd be right! Or you may be thinking: "This could be legit because I've totally heard some of this story before, but I'm not as hard core a collector as CRASH, so my small mind can't wrap around this concept, so I have my doubts" And to you I say I HAVE PROOF!!! These pictures are irrefutable proof that this is legit. If you question the legitimacy, then obviously you aren't as hard core as I am, and you probably hacked all my accounts to smear my good name.

Here is a picture of how I found it. Notice the glow from the gamma radiation!

crushed-bicycle1.jpg



And here is a picture of me working on it (TOTAL PROOF IF THERE EVER WAS ANY!!)
550px-Paint-a-Bike-Step-1.jpg


And here is an excerpt from a secret government memo discussing the project:

From: The Government
To: Schwinn

Dear bike guys we totally want to buy a bike that can get into Russia and blow up there stuff and get are people rescued and make us look all awesome so we need you to build something that can do that and we want it to be green because the army has green stuff and we like cucumbers but its like a secret so dont tell no peeps or else we are going to come get you lolz. below is a picture of what we want it to look like except with lasers and missiles and stuff.

Signed, the government. may 1961

2005015.jpg
 
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You learn something new everyday :wink: I'm gonna be a fountain of knowledge at the next swap meet I go to :mrgreen:
 
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bike2112 said:
Did anyone ever figure out a way to effectively "insert" the cucumber krate into the Soviet Union? Sorry couldn't resist and hope it doesn't get deleted.
No unfortunatly the cold war ended. I know cause I'm his pinstriper
 
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Just ment they moved on to new projects. What you have not heard of operation ugly new occ bike?
 
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Why do you think they made three? One would be far too obvious
 
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Floyd said:
To bad you dont have a "Pickle Krate" too..... I really want one of those!!
No they deemed it to close to the cucumber project. Now I have heard rumors of a pumpkin krate but since I could never find positive proof I did not want to post it. Because you know everything that is on the internet is true. I mean I heard that from the guy I got my prototype green band two speed from but even I was sceptical
 
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Perhaps you might want to buy this Super Rear Orange Band Kickback. There were only six released (completely accidental) to the general population. Just ask Wildcat, he knows the truth!


Wildcat said:
Along with yellow, red, and blue, is the legendary orange band 2 speeds. The story that has been passed down from the old Bendix factory says there are 3 orange band hubs out there somewhere.

One of the new employees kept having things go wrong and was worried about keeping his job. This was early 60's, and Bendix was just starting to change from red band 2 speed hubs to the new yellow and blue band hubs. The new guy was trying hard to do a good job, but was trying too hard and accidentally spilled the new yellow paint into an old can of red. Everyone else had left for lunch, so he hurried up and painted 4 dozen hubs with the mixed paint so they wouldn't notice the waste of paint. He hung them up to dry and then started filling orders. A few small vendors showed up and he loaded them up as they waited. A large truck for the Detroit shipment showed up. That would take the rest of the hubs he had painted, then no one would know the better. He had the big truck almost loaded when the foreman came in. He was just about to commend the new guy on a good job when he noticed the orange paint on the last few hubs. After a quick chewing out, they had to get all those hubs back. They unloaded the Detroit truck and called up the local vendors to return the defective hubs. Then they did inventory to be sure. Someone didn't return all the hubs, and they couldn't track it down, because the new guy didn't write down exactly how many hubs went to the local vendors. But they had 3 hubs unaccounted for after recounting twice.

Poor guy lost his job, and there are 3 orange band 2 speed hubs out there somewhere.

2010-10-21015349.jpg
 
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If you add more dill it will become a Dill Pickle Krate, or add some sugar and make a Sweet Pickle Krate! :mrgreen:
 
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Personally, my fave was the Rutabaga Krate, I had one in middle school! Now, some preferred the fancy ones, like the Peppermint Stik, or the Watermelon Wrangler. Others liked the mellow lines of the Beige Krate. To each their own! -Adam
 
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I just have a Ray-Ray. Its always broke and doesnt do NUTHIN! :)
 

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