Funny CL Ad - Overpriced Junk For Sale - Available Anywhere

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Saw this ad on Chicago CL this morning and thought I'd copy it before it got flagged.


PLEASE NOTE: This probably doesn't apply to you. But some sellers need to have a good long look at this.
Everyone has the right to sell their bikes for whatever they want, but those who do not know what they are talking about need a sanity check. Granted, I know the economy is bad and you might have found a "jewel" in the rough - but for crying out loud, do some research beforehand.
The following is an elementary guide for those of you who are absolutely clueless about your garage sale or thrift store finds:

1) Just because your bike was made in Europe doesn't mean you've got a winner. They made a lot of junk, too.
2) A low end bike that was $97.00 in 1976 is not, magically, worth $400.00 now.
3) Adult bikes do not have goosenecks.
4) If the chain is conspicuously rusty and kinked in the picture, nobody is going to fall for your claims of "mint condition."
5) If you get asked how many speeds it has and do not know nor care, pull your ad. Immediately.
6) Telling us that you found it in a barn is not a rationale for overpricing it.
7) Take OFF the $10 price tag from Goodwill before you take your Craigslist picture and ask $250 for it.
8) "Light and FAST!" . . . Ok, if you say so.
9) Not everything with those kooky, curvy handlebars is a race bike.
10) Neither is a race bike "improved" by flipping those curvy handlebars upside down.
11) Don't be offended if someone offers you an insulting amount that is far less than you want for your bike - they're just smarter than you.
12) Don't get ticked off if someone low-balls you when you state "make offer" in your ad. You asked for it.
13) Tires are tires and wheels are wheels. These terms are not interchangeable.
14) Breaks should be referred to as "brakes", petles or petals as "pedals".
15) Your bike was not made by Shimano, Suntour, or Campagnolo. I know you saw that name somewhere on it, but just trust me on this one.
16) Vintage implies it was worth something when it was new, otherwise it's just OLD.
17) High tensile steel - yeah, they put a sticker on the bike that says it but I wouldn't be bragging about it.
18) Go ahead and repost that 10 speed Huffy every week - no one will tire of its charm. If you're willing to endure the humiliation, we'll be there for you until you reach your target market.
19) ALL CAPS DOES NOT MAKE IT A BETTER BIKE.
20) Pictures of the LEFT side of the bike aren't worth much of anything, nobody can see the drivetrain. All things considered, perhaps you'd rather want to hide it anyway.
21) Blurry pictures add a negative symbol to your price tag.
22) If you steal someone else's photos (not the manufacturer's) from the web and use them to represent your own bike, you are absolute scum.
23) "Suitable for fixie conversion" doesn't make a POS frame any more valuable. For that matter...WHAT makes it suitable?
24) If you think your bicycle is worth a four figure sum ($x,xxx), the LEAST you could do is to spell the brand and component names correctly (eg. Trek, not treck; Schwinn, not shwin; Campagnolo, not Campagnola; and Shimano - not shmano, shimono, or shamano)
25) Include the size of the bicycle! No, it's not the tire size. It's measured from the center of the cranks (the big sprocket) to the top of the seat tube (before the silver or black post that holds the seat [saddle].) It needs to be in either inches or centimeters. Both if you are nice.
26) NEXT, Magna, Huffy, Roadmaster, and Murray are NOT highly-respected brands. Get over it.
27) Taking a nice multispeed road bike that was posted here two days ago for a reasonable price raping it of all good derailleur parts, making it a single speed with a $22 Chinese bmx cog from performancebike.com does not double or triple its value or make it a "race bike" or "fixie".
28) There is no such thing as a road mountain bike
29) Just because you are selling it for a friend doesn't make you an expert if you are not
30) If you don't list the brand and it is unreadable in the photos, we will assume it is a POS
31) Research the going price of your bike before posting
32) Just because it cost a lot 10 years ago when it was brand new and you have barely rode it, doesn't mean it is worth 50% + of new price (see #31)
33) Just because you bought it within the past year doesn't mean someone is going to pay close to what you paid, especially if the new model years are coming out and yours is now discounted
34) Don't use terms you do not understand - if it does not have rear suspension, it is not full suspension
35) Proofread - I have never seen a bike measured in feet but I've seen a lot of 26' bikes posted
36) If it is a *mart bike and you just paid to have it "tuned up", you probably just wasted your money as the tune up was probably more than the bike is worth
37) We don't want to call for basic information you should have posted or to have you send us pictures
38) Don't sell a used helmet unless you really did just buy it, otherwise it may have been crashed and is a safety hazard
39) Chanting the words "Burning Man" does not magically make your POS bike worth hundreds of dollars.

I hope this has cleared up some things for the cycling-challenged sellers.


Location: Anywhere.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
 
That is some great stuff, I'm a newbie in this bicycle world and I have read all of the goofy adds everyday here in Colorado.
Looks like you had some fun writing this.
 
Good writeup! My favorite is #15...lol!!!

This is very true and unfortunately common. People who know too little, preying on the marketplace for others who know less. All too common. Oh well, you know what they say... A fool and his money are soon parted.
 
What I really don't like is crap he was talking about Huffy & Murray, only people that don't like those are rich snobs, atleast that is the only ones I ever heard complain about them, although not as great as the older ones but I actually still like new Huffy's.
 
I know I have mentioned this a couple times in other posts, but what REALLY annoys me in CL ads is people who go out to Walmart and buy $80 huffy cranbrooks and then try to sell them for $100 or more. There is this one guy who places ads in sacramento who does this. He always asks for $145 and a few times has claimed to buy them for foreign exchange students, only to find out they don't like to ride bikes. Another one of his stories is that he just bought this for himself, but then his sister just gave him a road bike so now he doesn't need it. I feel really sorry for the people he suckers in to buying an $80 bike for $100 +.
 
coloradodave said:
That is some great stuff, I'm a newbie in this bicycle world and I have read all of the goofy adds everyday here in Colorado.
Looks like you had some fun writing this.

Have you seen the RE: Spammer ads $79 (was $89!) posts on Denver CL lol.

There is the one guy that posts the same 10-30 items every day with insane prices and he rarely lowers them. I have seen the same Felt cruiser seat on there for $59 for over 4 months now. It's just a basic cruiser seat, I don't think it even has real springs just those little rubber bumpers lol.

Craigslist can get really bad, the ad in that first post should be a sticky or something on the top of every bicycle section of every cities craigslist.
 
I second those motions. Miss-used contractions are my peeve. A well crafted add can improve sales. You have to wonder if some of these folks can suck air without mechanical help!? :oops:
 
Peatbog said:
40) It's only worth what someone will pay, not what you are asking for it.

So true. I've had to grin and bear it with toyota parts time and time again. Being part of a hobby doesn't mean you will get rich financially, but you will obtain what you need eventually.... Worth it's weight in gold when it counts.
 
Here in San Francisco Bay area, #39 is prevalent. People have absolutely rusty junk scrap metal bikes, but "they would be great for Burning Man!" as if Burning Man is a roving junk yard, where crap magically works per normal specifications.

Case in point:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/bik/2623148465.html


BTW:

I would like to add #41 to the list: "There is a difference between 'fixie' and 'fixer'."
I would like to add #42 to the list: "If you want over $100 for a bike, it better be ridable".
I would like to add #43 to the list: "If it just needs new tubes and tires, take at least $30 off your asking price, as that is how much new tubes and tires cost."
 
This was so hillarious that I had to repost it to a local Craigslist that is VERY guilty of many of these. Responses have been coming in:

Amen....best post I've read on Craigslist!

You just made my day

Hello,

I can finally type this email now that the tears of laughter have subsided. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and look forward to your next chapter in this series. I do a little bit of chain saw collecting, and so much of what you have stated in your post can apply to those challenged saw sellers who post a top handle saw as an abberist, abhorist, or arborist model when “arborist” would be more appropriate. Of course this is nothing compared to the butchering of manufacturer names (McCulloch, Homelite, Poulan, Husqvarna, Stihl, Shindaiwa) it is rather impressive how many Craigslist sellers have access to the internet, yet lack the ability to do a little research, let alone use spell check.

Jonathan

That was Great! If you feel moved to, add Triax and Denali to Item# 26.
 
I have one to add that I see WAY too much around here.

If you can see daylight through the frame it is not patina. :mrgreen:
 
I got alot of Real Good bike deals on Jersey C/L.

Its entertainment to read/snicker through the B/S dreamer ads.
 
:21: Here is 1 near me...
his n hers old shwinn bikes
00G0G_cqsMdsYfC9b_600x450.jpg

"believe they are early 60s 1 shwinn breeze and 1 panther 3 they are both in good shape good for the collector fresh find would like to sell as a set make a reasonable offer no lowballers i have a pretty good idea what each are worth more pics by text pics loading bad"

So I text the guy (they look kinda rusty in the 1 pic he posted, flat tires, ect) Offered $75 cash for the pair figured I could use for parts anyways. He texts me back "I'm sorry that's not even close to their value were starting at 600 best offer for the pair"
I don't get it - it's NOT an auction - its C/L - they don't even wash these things and want you to drive an hour into the boonies and throw money at them till they say "sold! :rofl:
 
Funny thing is that idiots like that end up keeping them and refuse to take any less. I talk to people all the time who say stuff like "selling on the internet for $$$$$". FYI an overpriced Ebay starting bid or BIN price is not the going rate.

Sent from my GT-P5113 using Tapatalk
 
..... Chanting the words "Burning Man" does not magically make your POS bike worth hundreds of dollars. :21:

Now that was funny. Spit out my diet coke on that one.
Especially, since I just saw a CL add. A gal selling her Cranbrook that she just bought to ride to burning man.
 

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