I wish I could ride it...

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I would say give the long post and high bars a try. It's a great look for an inb. Don't worry about a weird ride, it's gotta be better than no ride!
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This one from the web is using a slingshot stem, one of my favorite from the older MTB era. You will probably get more rise and reach with MTB stems than BMX. From the sounds of things, you need every inch you can get
 
Never ever seen ,heard or come across by accident that stem ya got there! what a beauty!
My first MTB had a Slingshot, great stems for functionality and a unique ornate factor. Finding vintage bars made for them can be a task and I'm unsure of any modern bars that will work with them.

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I would say give the long post and high bars a try. It's a great look for an inb. Don't worry about a weird ride, it's gotta be better than no ride!View attachment 213704
This one from the web is using a slingshot stem, one of my favorite from the older MTB era. You will probably get more rise and reach with MTB stems than BMX. From the sounds of things, you need every inch you can get
Love that stem.
 
I haven't given up. I'll keep throwing things at this bike til I find something that works. Getting closer... on a whim I threw on a 27.5" wheel and tire off of my State Klunker. I found a tall, layback seatpost I could afford and dang! Getting closer! I shaved down a quill to threadless that I bought for something else and put the stock bars from my Klunker on it and rode it around. Very, very close boys!
The whole front wheel is as light as a worksman spoke so I'll be shopping again soon for something more appropriate.
Can I swear and smoke now? Does it look dorky?
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I haven't given up. I'll keep throwing things at this bike til I find something that works. Getting closer... on a whim I threw on a 27.5" wheel and tire off of my State Klunker. I found a tall, layback seatpost I could afford and dang! Getting closer! I shaved down a quill to threadless that I bought for something else and put the stock bars from my Klunker on it and rode it around. Very, very close boys!
The whole front wheel is as light as a worksman spoke so I'll be shopping again soon for something more appropriate.
Can I swear and smoke now? Does it look dorky?View attachment 215340View attachment 215341
View attachment 215338View attachment 215339
Man that looks good dressed in 27.5
 
I have a 38" inseam, have ridden a lot of dirt in SW UT and if you are going to ride in the dirt on a cruiser conversion, look for a prewar Schwinn or late 90's/early 2000's 22" Schwinn Cruiser Supreme. Having the saddle up on the trail doesn't really matter as much as effective top tube length and both of those options provide useable dirt geometry with the prewar having 23" ETT and Supremes at 24" ETT. If you are just going to cruise around on what you have, just get a proper seatpost to make it comfy.
I read a comment you made on another thread that stuck with me. It was about adjusting how you ride when you think bike fit problem can't be fixed. And you're absolutely right. I tried it on bike I considered way too small for me but adapted to the geo of the bike. It was great! No, I didn't get 90% full knee extension so I stood most of the time and pedaled gently when in the saddle (darn knees). Thanks Mr. Chicken.
 

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