I've done a few of these, so here's one for Rat Roddin'. Feel free to add some more!
You Know You Are a Rat Rodder When... (YKYARRW)
...you have one of the first batch of RRB t-shirts
...you wear your RRB t-shirt so often it's getting worn out
...you entered the very first RRB build off
...you're collecting parts for the next RRB build off that's not even scheduled yet
...you assemble a diferent bike for every ride
...you can assemble a bike without taking your eyes off of the TV
...you can assemble a bike without interrupting dinner
...you can spot a bike behind a shed even if you're doing 70 on the interstate and there's only a couple of inches of tire showing
...you bring flat-black rattle cans along for rides
...you bring a skate board and some bungee cords along for rides, so you can haul the dumpster finds home
...you only use your truck to haul bikes 'cos you ride everywhere else
...you've got a joint bank account with the LBS to make payments simpler
...you walk into your rat-friendly LBS, and everyone goes "Your_name!"
...you collect angle grinders
...you give each one of your angle grinders a girl's name
...you give each one of your bicycles a Pro-Wrestler type name
...you give each one of your bicycles a name that helps you locate them in your garage, such as: "Isle 4, Row 17, Shelf C"
...you've got bike parts in your car
...you've got bike parts in your bedroom
...you've got bike parts in your office
...you've got bike parts in your kitchen
...you've got bike parts in your girlfriend's house
...your gilfriend doesn't mind you storing bike parts in her house and you think "wow, she's a keeper!"
...your best friend's name is Craig. Craig Slist.
...you show up for work riding a shiny new bike and everyone asks you what's wrong
...you collect handlebars. You can never have too many handlebars
...you're planning on building a small boardtrack on your backyard
...you put ape bars on everything
...you know The Code
...you get a call from NASA about the huge bike pile on your yard: all the metal is interfering with satellite readings
...you like to mess with the purists/collectors minds
...you purchase 100-yard rolls of bike chain
...you can recognize 7.000 different frames from their dropout shapes
...you mix your own blend of coaster brake grease
...you've got more than four bicycle-related scars
...you tell the stories behind each scar to strangers
...all your pants have oil stains
...you have a notebook full of sketches of suicide shifters
...all the neighbourhood kids are hooked on rat bikes, because of you
...you have no furniture on your corridors so it's easier to move bikes around the house
...you have bikes inside the house, especially in the living room and bedroom
...you see nothing wrong with that
...your mother/ spouse/ boyfriend/ girlfriend tells you that you have a bicycle problem
...strangers on the street tell you that you have a bicycle problem
...you reply "Yeah... Insufficient storage space!"
...you sell a bike, and you regret it five minutes later
...you camp out the night before at yard sales
...you go on pilgrimage to Iowa or Chestnut Hollow every year
...you have a nickname
...once, you chopped up a collectible frame
...you read *all* the posts on RRB.com
...you can spot a heavy-duty spoke at 100 yards
...you've pinstripped your angle grinder and your welder
...you have red circles on your calendar to remind you of jumble sales that are 6 months away
...you build a freak bike, just because you are bored
...you save all kinds of junk, and turn it into bike parts
...you have an autograph of kennyp
...you've got IowaParts on speed dial- "They're barn fresh!"
...people just drop off cool bikes on your porch
...you watch the movie E.T. and fast forward to the BMX chase scene
...you think "American Chopper" is a fiction comedy
...you always enter your house through the garage
...you've got a radio in your garage because you spend so much time there
...you've got a cot, a toilet, a fridge, a hot plate, a heater, a telephone and internet access in your garage
...you don't have a garage: you do your buildin' in the kitchen!
...you ride your rat downtown
...your car is kind of cool, too
...you're on a first name basis with all the guys at the recycling plant
...you have developed X-Ray vision so you can look inside barns
...you can cure a cold or a mild depression with a quick bike build
...you dream of having a job at the LBS
...you quit your job at the LBS so you can spend more time in the garage
...you check out fancy motorcycles just to see what parts can be used on a rat
...you do your own saddle upholstery
...you rat your home apliances, lawn mower, nephew's trike, grandma's scooter, mailbox.
...you turn down a hot date because it's Dumpster Dive Friday
...you get withdrawal symptoms because you haven't spray-painted something for a couple of days
...you look away nauteous, every time a lycra-clad roadie on his top-of-the-line carbon fiber bike rolls by
...you know what's wrong with a 3-speed hub just by the sound of it
...you have disassembled your 3-speed hub in the middle of a ride
...you bring spare 3-speed hub parts on rides
...you ask other people on the ride if they would like you to service their hub on the next coffee stop
...you wear out 3-speed hubs
...there's no more room for stickers on your bike
...you watch the Weather Channel to figure out what bike to ride, not to figure out if you're going to ride
...you routinely carry large amounts of beer or scrap metal by bike
...your neighbours know you as the "bike guy"
...you get mail adressed to "Bike guy"
...your car stays on the street 'cos you need the garage space
...you know the difference between 1947 and 1948 Schwinn frames
...you enjoy explaining to strangers the difference between 1947 and 1948 Schwinn frames
...you know lots of great riding stories
...you fix bikes on the road side with nothing but wire, chewing gum, a key chain ring and the foil from an inner tube patch
...you don't wash your bikes, you just ride them in the winter time
...there are oil stains on your bathtub
...there are oil stains on your living room carpet
...you push the LBS mechanic aside and easily remove that stripped bolt
...you have a 10-month waiting list on your projects
...you turn crap to cool
Hugo
You Know You Are a Rat Rodder When... (YKYARRW)
...you have one of the first batch of RRB t-shirts
...you wear your RRB t-shirt so often it's getting worn out
...you entered the very first RRB build off
...you're collecting parts for the next RRB build off that's not even scheduled yet
...you assemble a diferent bike for every ride
...you can assemble a bike without taking your eyes off of the TV
...you can assemble a bike without interrupting dinner
...you can spot a bike behind a shed even if you're doing 70 on the interstate and there's only a couple of inches of tire showing
...you bring flat-black rattle cans along for rides
...you bring a skate board and some bungee cords along for rides, so you can haul the dumpster finds home
...you only use your truck to haul bikes 'cos you ride everywhere else
...you've got a joint bank account with the LBS to make payments simpler
...you walk into your rat-friendly LBS, and everyone goes "Your_name!"
...you collect angle grinders
...you give each one of your angle grinders a girl's name
...you give each one of your bicycles a Pro-Wrestler type name
...you give each one of your bicycles a name that helps you locate them in your garage, such as: "Isle 4, Row 17, Shelf C"
...you've got bike parts in your car
...you've got bike parts in your bedroom
...you've got bike parts in your office
...you've got bike parts in your kitchen
...you've got bike parts in your girlfriend's house
...your gilfriend doesn't mind you storing bike parts in her house and you think "wow, she's a keeper!"
...your best friend's name is Craig. Craig Slist.
...you show up for work riding a shiny new bike and everyone asks you what's wrong
...you collect handlebars. You can never have too many handlebars
...you're planning on building a small boardtrack on your backyard
...you put ape bars on everything
...you know The Code
...you get a call from NASA about the huge bike pile on your yard: all the metal is interfering with satellite readings
...you like to mess with the purists/collectors minds
...you purchase 100-yard rolls of bike chain
...you can recognize 7.000 different frames from their dropout shapes
...you mix your own blend of coaster brake grease
...you've got more than four bicycle-related scars
...you tell the stories behind each scar to strangers
...all your pants have oil stains
...you have a notebook full of sketches of suicide shifters
...all the neighbourhood kids are hooked on rat bikes, because of you
...you have no furniture on your corridors so it's easier to move bikes around the house
...you have bikes inside the house, especially in the living room and bedroom
...you see nothing wrong with that
...your mother/ spouse/ boyfriend/ girlfriend tells you that you have a bicycle problem
...strangers on the street tell you that you have a bicycle problem
...you reply "Yeah... Insufficient storage space!"
...you sell a bike, and you regret it five minutes later
...you camp out the night before at yard sales
...you go on pilgrimage to Iowa or Chestnut Hollow every year
...you have a nickname
...once, you chopped up a collectible frame
...you read *all* the posts on RRB.com
...you can spot a heavy-duty spoke at 100 yards
...you've pinstripped your angle grinder and your welder
...you have red circles on your calendar to remind you of jumble sales that are 6 months away
...you build a freak bike, just because you are bored
...you save all kinds of junk, and turn it into bike parts
...you have an autograph of kennyp
...you've got IowaParts on speed dial- "They're barn fresh!"
...people just drop off cool bikes on your porch
...you watch the movie E.T. and fast forward to the BMX chase scene
...you think "American Chopper" is a fiction comedy
...you always enter your house through the garage
...you've got a radio in your garage because you spend so much time there
...you've got a cot, a toilet, a fridge, a hot plate, a heater, a telephone and internet access in your garage
...you don't have a garage: you do your buildin' in the kitchen!
...you ride your rat downtown
...your car is kind of cool, too
...you're on a first name basis with all the guys at the recycling plant
...you have developed X-Ray vision so you can look inside barns
...you can cure a cold or a mild depression with a quick bike build
...you dream of having a job at the LBS
...you quit your job at the LBS so you can spend more time in the garage
...you check out fancy motorcycles just to see what parts can be used on a rat
...you do your own saddle upholstery
...you rat your home apliances, lawn mower, nephew's trike, grandma's scooter, mailbox.
...you turn down a hot date because it's Dumpster Dive Friday
...you get withdrawal symptoms because you haven't spray-painted something for a couple of days
...you look away nauteous, every time a lycra-clad roadie on his top-of-the-line carbon fiber bike rolls by
...you know what's wrong with a 3-speed hub just by the sound of it
...you have disassembled your 3-speed hub in the middle of a ride
...you bring spare 3-speed hub parts on rides
...you ask other people on the ride if they would like you to service their hub on the next coffee stop
...you wear out 3-speed hubs
...there's no more room for stickers on your bike
...you watch the Weather Channel to figure out what bike to ride, not to figure out if you're going to ride
...you routinely carry large amounts of beer or scrap metal by bike
...your neighbours know you as the "bike guy"
...you get mail adressed to "Bike guy"
...your car stays on the street 'cos you need the garage space
...you know the difference between 1947 and 1948 Schwinn frames
...you enjoy explaining to strangers the difference between 1947 and 1948 Schwinn frames
...you know lots of great riding stories
...you fix bikes on the road side with nothing but wire, chewing gum, a key chain ring and the foil from an inner tube patch
...you don't wash your bikes, you just ride them in the winter time
...there are oil stains on your bathtub
...there are oil stains on your living room carpet
...you push the LBS mechanic aside and easily remove that stripped bolt
...you have a 10-month waiting list on your projects
...you turn crap to cool
Hugo
