A difficult thing to say

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Strings_and_steam

Strings_and_steam

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Apr 7, 2010
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So perhaps its very strange to post this here. I dont exactly know why I am. I guess that over the past few months or so I have come to think of this place as a community that I belong to. I still feel like an outsider in a lot of reguards, but somehow it just feels like maybe I 'belong' here in some small way.

My life has felt really rocky lately, and there's a lot going on. I'll be graduating (lord willing) college with a degree in Musicology, one of my passions in life. But sometimes I just cant help but feel totally inadequate in my field. The music biz is a little funky in general, and as a musicologist, especially one who's focus is on instruments and building/repairing them, it just seems uncertain. I'm more than willing to work in any job I can get, music or not, just sometimes the weight of the future and the uncertainty of things gets really heavy. Being a 'man' about things can be difficult, and Id be lying if I said I didnt feel like breaking down sometimes. Next year will be the first time in my life I dont wake up and go to class, a whole new routine. Its just hard to think about sometimes.

When the weight of life seems crushing, I have always seemed to go one of two ways: create as a release, or shut down completely. I've always loved working with my hands, and making something or working on an instrument feels like a release to put a bit of myself into something that can't judge me and knows nothing of the world. Especially old instruments, typewriters (another passion of mine) and most recently bicycles seem to be things that have a 'life' or 'soul' to them, and have been around weathering more than I likely will ever expierence. But getting to breathe new life and maintain something like that makes me feel alive, and like in some small way I am preserving something and workign on something greater than myself. I dont mean for this to sound like any sort of a God-complex, I give Him credit for all that he does and any skill I have.

I simply ask that anyone who prays could pray for me, thinkers might think about me, and anything anyone might do to send some good vibes my way might take a second to do so. There's just so much going on in my life that I realize I can't control, which can be hard for someone used to being able to solve problems and engineer solutions. I don't mean this to be asking for your sympathy or any sort of pat on the back, I realize everyone has their own burdens and mine is far from the only life thats complicated. But like Ive said I feel that in a small way I might be part of this community, and I thank all of you who have helped make me feel welcome to share a little of my work and encouraged me to keep at it.

Thank you and God bless,

-Spence
 
dont worry man! things will be fine, as long as you create with passion you will succeed..

heres some good vibes!! :mrgreen:

good-vibes1.jpg
 
At 17 I started into a union bricklayer apprenticeship. It was hard work,and at first very little money. My father was a union bricklayer and so it seemed the path to follow. It was a four year program. You would work on a job and then it finished up and you were laid off to have to find another. There were lots of reasons not to be working....raining...too cold....lack of work. I thought for a few years , how could I have a life with so much uncertainty on when the money came in. It worked out well after all. I decided after 15 years of it, that being an old bricklayer , ment you had back problems and a lots of other health problems associated with years of manuel labor. I made a career change to a police force. Once again , little money at the time , but still an opportunity to work extra jobs and make it. Again it was tough going from $42 an hour to $15 an hour, but eventually the pay went up to a nice rate. After 22 years of it , I wound up with a nice pension , and a chance to retire at 55. Something that most people can't do. The moral of this story is do anything, put your faith in God and it will work out for you. :wink:
 
Anything new to music, breakouts like the Beatles, Rock n Roll, etc, Grunge, all came from those who didn't fit in with the norm. Those that did just made more of the same old music. I think the same thing goes for many fields of endeavor, whether creative things like yours, or more run of the mill things. It's those who think outside the box that see the most success.
 
It will work out fine.
Keep your strenght and your beliefs, keep doing good to everything that surrounds you and mostly, keep your faith.
It will all come back to you and you will find your path.
Take a look around: it's almost spring man, why should'nt things have a brighter future?
 
Reading this post was like reading my own thoughts. I've been unemployed for awhile now. It's because of anxiety and depression. Depression has been dogging me for 15 years. It seems all my life I've had uncertainty of the future. I've never believed that I'd live to see 30. Well I'm 30 now and I'll be 31 in less than two months. I have worked many jobs in my life. The one I was truly happy at work-wise was also the one that never paid me. I couldn't make ends meet and I had to sell some of my guitars to make rent and buy food. This depressed me so much because music is my biggest passion in life. Depression caused me to become very agitated and irritated with my life. I lost my band, I lost my house and I lost my girlfriend I was with for ten years. Now I live in a tiny apartment with my new love. I don't have the ability to work again yet but I have the knowledge that things do work out. I see what people build on here and see artistic sides of them come out in what they do. I've seen your website and I bookmarked it. What you do inspires me. I know things are uncertain for you now but they will get better.
Just a thought to add as well. In highschool I had a teacher that made me change my thinking about school and life in general. He didn't know he was doing this but I eventually told him so. He was the first teacher to ever talk to me like I was an equal. Not a student that he's smarter than. This teacher told me one day that he could be making twice what his pay is if he actually worked in the field he was teaching. (Graphic design). He chose to teach because he learned that with his other job when he was at home he really wasn't home. He missed alot of his daughters' growing up. He decided to go back to school at the age of 40 to become a teacher. He's happier because he gets to see his family more and he knows he can make a difference in someones life by teaching them. Not only the classroom stuff but life stuff. He told me that "you're never too old to go back to school".
The reason I added that was simply this: You've got a talent. I've seen some of your work and you've inspired me. Perhaps you can inspire others by teaching? Even if it's only on a small level. Music instruments will always be around. You can fix something that is dear to someone else. Don't underestimate sentimental value. That next piece you repair for someone may be the most precious piece they have to remember a loved one. And they will love you for it.
Take care man. I'm sure things will work out for you.
 
Life can be uncertain at times, I've been trying to start my own business for years and so far it hasn't grown out of my back yard but I keep trying because it is my dream in life and I know someday it will happen. Sometimes things happen at a certain time and if it's not time yet we get discouraged. Just try to keep your head up and keep doing what you are passionate about and good things will happen.
 
Spence,
First, you're in my thoughts and wish only the best for you.
Like all of us, my time here on this planet, life has been quite a ride, sheltered 'Norman Rockwell' childhood, adolesent doubts regarding authority, religion, relationships. etc.. Adulthood where the 'path' I thought I was on has had the 'rug pulled out from under me' several times, the sudden and tragic loss of my father and several close friends.

All of these events (and the challenges you are facing) are the 'fabric of our lives'. These days will make you who you are going forward. As crazy as it sounds, try to embrace these challenges, and 'manage' them instead of them 'managing' you. I don't know you personally, but from what I do know, you are a creative intelligent, skilled person. Use these strengths, you are too smart to let these temporary conditions get the best of you.

I belive that things happen for a reason, be it a belief in a 'Greater Power' or karma or fate. Rise above the wave and ride it out.

Cheers!
Dr. T
 
This thread reminds me of a saying I once heard, "Life is not a cushy ride in a Cadillac to a final destination, I'm gonna slide in sideways, upside down, on fire, fully used up, broken, beaten, crashing through the pearly gate doing 98 and screaming at the top of my lungs What a ride!" Live life with no regrets.
 
"Be who you are, I can't stand people who lie to try to fit in, If you share the love for rat rod bikes we already like you!"-OUTSKIRTCUSTOMS (bottom line of all posts)

I have always loved this line and it seems very fitting in this moment. Be who you are- stay true to yourself and do what you love. Remeber that progress has always come from people becoming bored with the same old same old. Continue whatever drives you and makes you happy and you will find your niche in life and you may just create a new way of doing something or a new design that will become all the rage, you never know until it happens. You have the talent and desire, continue with it and you will find out what truely will become of that talent. And as far as fitting in.... just read that last portion of the quote from OUTSKIRT. I can tell you that I echo that sentiment, there is not a big ratrod scene around my neck of the woods but when I found this site I too found a community. You are in good hands here, hang in there and remeber BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE AND DO WHAT YOU LOVE. All thoughts and prayers are with you.
Alan Thede Jr.


PS After reading my post, I realize that even I need to take my own advice :oops:
 
I'm not much for words but be well, do what you do and everything will turn out right in anything you do, you get to do something that makes other peoples life feel better by allowing others to keep play the gift of music which you have the gift to keep music alive for them as well as for us all so please have hope and feel better about yourself.
 
I can relate man, I've been through my share of rocky times. I just came to the conclusion that sometimes you just gotta be down to appreciate it when things are up. Almost always in hindsight things are never as bad as they seem. Praying that you'll let God take control and let Him show you were you need to be :wink:
 
Brotherman, first of all, if you graduate from college with a bachelor's degree in anything you deserve some real credit for that. Good on you, seriously! Stop and take some pride in that. And the fact that you're getting your degree in something that you love makes it even more special. If you're concerned about the "now what" affect that comes after graduation, so is just about everyone else walking across that stage with you in their cap and gown! Again, change your perspective just a bit and instead of thinking "oh crud, what am I going to?", take it all in and think back on how much work you did to get there and what an accomplishment it is that you'll be a college graduate! That doesn't come easy man! I was almost 38 before I got that far! :mrgreen: And I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! Now I'm paying two college tuitions for my kids! Only one is in college but the other one's tuition for private school is the same that I pay for college for the other. It's a huge expense but you know what, no one can take it away from them. Education is something they can't be robbed of. And without offering you advice on what you should consider doing, I'll just tell you what I plan on telling them when they reach the point where you are right now. If they'll listen I'm going to encourage them to keep on going to school! I'm going to encourage them to keep trying to get ahead of the curve. Go for their masters or even their doctorate. These are tough times we're living in right now. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to want to come out into this workforce and try to set the world on fire! Dabble in what you love on the side and keep going to school at the same time. There will be plenty of time to make a dime later. A career will find you. The fact that you are concerned about it speaks to the kind of person that you are. You want to be productive now. Relax, it'll find you. And by all means, stop and smell the roses along the way. It'll all work out. Peace.
 
hey spence. tough life. :wink:
lets review.
#1. following a career you love. now thats tough! :lol:
#2. graduating from collage. yup, this just keeps getting worse. :wink:

i can think of only 2 cures.
eat a live fog in the morning, and the day should never get any worst.
or (and i strongly recommend this)
eat 2 raw eggs, spin counter clockwise 7 times (not 5, or 6. 12's way off) then repeat, "boy i feel silly"

ya say ya have lots going on, i say its not enough. this is your time to shine, to show your skills to the masses. its a time to network and make new contacts. heck don't forget to reconnect with old contacts. the more you have on the go, the more opertunities will arise. its certainly not a time to close doors.(this goes double for your choice in careers.)

time to scream "i am spence, here me roar"
honestly i do have a sure fire cure for doing away with this feeling once and for all.
before you jump into a career, take a week and visit an under developed country.
when you see how little it takes for man it simply exsist, you'll know whole heartedly how lucky you are having so many possibilites at your disposal.

the only person holding you back is you. time to man up friend, and go get what you desire!
best of luck!
 
icyuod2 said:
before you jump into a career, take a week and visit an under developed country.
when you see how little it takes for man it simply exsist, you'll know whole heartedly how lucky you are having so many possibilites at your disposal.
Click to expand...

I went to Senegal on a surfing trip two years ago. It changed me, made me think twice before feelin bad about stuff that happens. People there can live from nothing, squat, zero.
Keep rollin'
 
To Quote Sylvester Stallone: "The world meets nobody halfway. When you want something, you gotta take it." You need one of those "it will be mine" moments.
 

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