Most laughable CL response ever

[udallcustombikes]

I have my '37 Colson listed locally on craigslist and got this email tonight. I don't know if they are trying to make me laugh or scam me some how but I just had to share.

Hello sir, My name is Charles Witherstein and I am an extremely wealthy cattle trader in the midst of a mid-life crisis. I was recently was caught in an extramarital affair and am seeking something to take my mind off the divorce filings. Thus, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to purchase your custom Colson Road bike should it meet my criteria. Can you please answer a few questions about this luscious ride?

1. Do you think the bike looks expensive enough to allow me admittance into the elite cycling culture?
2. What is the bike's top speed?
3. Is the bike "hip?" Will youths find me appealing while riding it?
4. Will the cycle support a 300 pound middle aged male?
5. Can the bike be outfitted with an electric assist motor (I hate sweating)?
6. Will the bicycle fit in the trunk of my Porche?

My requirements:

1. The bike must be under 84 pounds.
2. You MUST provide a guarantee of increased ... appeal as a direct result of owning the cycle (legal documentation required)

My main criterium is the bike's ability to indoctrinate me into the upper echelons of elite cycling culture. Thank you, Charles

 

[mikeeebikey]

#2, oh man I peed myself laughing!!!!!!!!!
"must provide documentation!"
What the heck does he want, a local health dept. card????

 

[Walker]

If he cant spell "Porsche" then he's probably yanking your skiptooth chain

 

[ZygoteLittle]

“...I am an extremely wealthy cattle trader...” – the extremely wealthy tend to be understated, preferring to drive their “Porche” rather than ever thinking of hauling anything in or on them.

Thanks for the laugh :!: :lol:

 

[XC204]

Im betting its someone you know that recognized the bike....

 

[udallcustombikes]

Im betting its someone you know that recognized the bike....

I would be inclined to agree. Someone put quite a bit of time into this and I certainly needed the laugh after the emotional past few days.

 

[Walker]

I'd respond with something equally creative.

 

[LowpowerD]

You should write "Charles" back and ask if he plans to graduate this year. I imagine with that poor of grammar he'd flunk English class.

 

[The Renaissance Man]

I don't see what's funny. Seems like legitimate questions to me.
You know, for an extremely wealthy cattle trader.

The only thing that I would question is the legitimacy of a Jewish cattleman in your area. Don't take a check.

 

[ifitsfreeitsforme]

that is rich.

 

[clamdigger]

As a cattle trader he should know to keep the bull in the pen. Or is that baseball ?

 

[TheFlyingDingo]

Not sure why my dad is emailing you in kansas.

 

[CRASH]

If he removes the seat, it will increase the ... appeal.

 

[1manta]

I don't care how wealthy you are that's too nice of a bike to keep in a trunk on your porch!
That is a great response thanks for sharing it.

 

[axsepul]

Very funny.

 

[user 15387]

At least it wasn't another of those Nigerian princes. Like half that country is royalty.

 

[American Vintage Bicycle Supply]

:lol: