Thunderbolt Grease Slapper
- Thread starter GuitarlCarl
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Carl have you ever done any writing like short stories or books?
No, but I have seen all of the Tom Slick and the Thunderbolt Grease Slapper cartoons.
Carl.
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MazdaFlyer
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Now T H A T is a bike.Well Hotdoggers, Gerty has been crankin' the wrenchs all afternoon. With the Tour De Pork coming up quick, it's been a mad dash to the starting line. Tom has been no help only pokin' his nose in occasionally, although he's been seen frequently at the local Boz's scarfing down a frankfurter or two. Gerty still needs a drive chain and to finish the brakes. So remember, there's no such word as stop when ya got no brakes...
Stay tuned... Dogs are barkin'...
Merle.
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and so... The final leg of the Tour De Pork was held this past weekend and the final algorithms have been calculated. But let us hear of this third piggies tale before the announcement of the grand winner, staying downwind as we do so.
Merle.
Merle.
The third race in the Tour was a free for all, 12 mile climb up the far side of Potbelly Hill, capped off steeplechase style with a jump into an artificial pig sty created at the top of the Potbelly. Then a return down the same slope used for the second leg across the pit/fryer area and into the Hotdog vendor row dodging thru a final row of traffic cones and across the finish line.
Heading into the 3rd leg the scores were a virtual tie for second between Baron Otto Mattic, who even with penalty points given for various cheats, had turned in an amazing run down Potbelly Hill on the 2nd leg, and Pat Sneezel who launched himself into the quickest relays between the Hotdog vendors. Our hero and all around nice guy Tom Slick, who after winning the first two legs of the Tour De Pork, still had to contend with the algorithms and the pig sty at the top of the hill. 17 riders remained and most were in the pack climbing together up Potbelly. Tom Cruised near the front pushing to overcome the heavier wheels Gerty had put on the Thunderbolt Grease Slapper, hoping to allow Slick to plow thru the pig sty by pushing the muck rather than treading across it with MTB tires...
Merle.
Heading into the 3rd leg the scores were a virtual tie for second between Baron Otto Mattic, who even with penalty points given for various cheats, had turned in an amazing run down Potbelly Hill on the 2nd leg, and Pat Sneezel who launched himself into the quickest relays between the Hotdog vendors. Our hero and all around nice guy Tom Slick, who after winning the first two legs of the Tour De Pork, still had to contend with the algorithms and the pig sty at the top of the hill. 17 riders remained and most were in the pack climbing together up Potbelly. Tom Cruised near the front pushing to overcome the heavier wheels Gerty had put on the Thunderbolt Grease Slapper, hoping to allow Slick to plow thru the pig sty by pushing the muck rather than treading across it with MTB tires...
Merle.
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I can't tell you that the strategy worked flawlessly. But I will admit that at the jump into the swamp, while other riders flew airborne into the midst of the putrid muck, Tom plowed right through the middle of the swamp. Gerty had calculated the angle the front wheel would sling muck at the average speed Tom would be able to maintain. She then adjusted the rat-trap springer for almost no slap back and mounted a 26 x 1.75 up front, thicker than the 1 3/8 tires the Thunderbolt had worn, but thinner than what most of the racers had changed over to. Tom cut thru the sea of sludge like a hot knife thru butter (stinky rancid butter...) finding purchase at the bottom of the pig sty. The full fender kept the muck off his back and when the group reached the other side, Tom had gained the lead once more. Down the hill the Thunderbolt Grease Slapper flew, heavier than most of the other bikes, but slung down lower with Tom crouched in tight, they gained speed. Tom finally free from the stench of the pig sty, tossed his air filter mask (He did mention an air breather earlier didn't he?) to Marigold shouting, "There's no such word as stale in cyclic breathing, Marigold!" Now the MTB tires of the other riders threw an amazing amount of sludge on each other, but ahead of them Tom cleanly kicked it thru the pit area and across to the vendors. "One redhot to go!" he cried approaching the first stand. Reaching out he grabbed it on the fly and the Thunderbolt blasted straight thru the cones without a care to dodge left or right leaving them tumbling thru the air. Tom Slick, hotdog savant, and sludge slicer extraordinare, had crossed the third and final finish line in first place again. Three wins in a row and the only penalty points assigned were scant seconds for the final cones, that's how Tom Slick won the 2019 Tour De Pork on the Thunderbolt Grease Slapper. Remember, there's no such thing as baloney in a Tom Slick story, Marigold...
Merle.
Merle.
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The Renaissance Man
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Very exciting finish!
A word from Tom, "Thank you. It all fell into place. The Baron is always a contender and other racers who I've never faced pushed to the extent that we had to do things differently just to get the bike into the race. Tire choices, seat positions and handle bar positions all combined to create a build that put a heavyweight cruiser into a (touring?) race that is not it's forte. Blasting thru the cones at the end was not the best idea but in the moment it just felt right."
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I'm trying to figure out who Marilyn is. Did she replace Marigold? Is Tom a two timing womanizer or something?
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Now THAT was a mistake from the editor...
Tom and Marigold are good, and a global edit took care of the typo. Thanks for pointing it out before Marigold saw it!
Carl.
It seems the Chicago Taildraggers are having another ride this coming Friday night. So, Gerty has been getting the Thunderbolt Grease Slapper ready for some fun and some relaxation for Tom. Night cruises through Chicago are always a good time to show off a little, out comes the lights.
Gerty blended a black rack to match the fender
and added a Tiki dude...
Then she added a bit to the length of the bars...
Tom said "Don't forget the drink holder..."
The rat trap came from @handyandy1100
came in handy slicing thru the pig sty....
The Thunderbolt Grease Slapper is definitely in cruiser mode.
Merle.
Gerty blended a black rack to match the fender
and added a Tiki dude...
Then she added a bit to the length of the bars...
Tom said "Don't forget the drink holder..."
The rat trap came from @handyandy1100
came in handy slicing thru the pig sty....
The Thunderbolt Grease Slapper is definitely in cruiser mode.
Merle.
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"I don't know about those bars, Gerty. It's not really a muscle bike, it's a '53 Spitfire you know..." mused Tom. "Well it's got plenty of muscle." was Gertie's answer. "Take it out and cruise it, Tom boy." she said. "We got plenty of bars if ya don't like those."
Sent from the edge of an alternate universe...
Sent from the edge of an alternate universe...
Glad you were able to get the rat traps fixed! Looks good.
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Thank you my friend. Sometimes the simplest fix is the best. I hit it with a wire wheel and then welded it. Worked well, but I think someone rode it broke for a long time. I had to rebend the struts and the spring is crooked on one side a bit. It's perfect for the Grease Slapper and it's one of the pieces that will be in the final photo.
Carl.
At the Chicago Taildraggers "Can You Dig It?" ride, tonight, I'll also be tracking for the Great Cycle Challenge. It's a benefit to fight Children's Cancer. All the miles I rack up in June, generate funds and folks can donate on their own. My sister started a "Team" so even though she's in Ohio, my mileage counts towards the team total. (and Tom is letting me use the Grease Slapper) Clicking on my name will get you to the link.
Carl.
Carl.
Welt news fans, the stench of the Tour De Pork is definitely gone. The Thunderbolt Grease Slapper was rained on heavily last night. Seems Tom let one of our sponsors "borrow" it for a cruise in the Windy City and hello Illinois weather... Rain, rain, now the bike and everybody involved are fine but Gerty is none too happy. Today she's tearing it down for a good clean and lube. Gotta prep for the next race. Tom laughed it off saying, "There's no such words as rained out on bicycle cruises, Marigold." Well, he wasn't on that run back to the support vehicles last night...
Merle.
Sent from the edge of an alternate universe...
Merle.
Sent from the edge of an alternate universe...
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Merle, you and Gertie make a wonderful couple. A couple of what I don't know, but the two of you need to go to the bike shop and start looking at spoke patterns and seat covers.
Andy
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Andy
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